So I finally got a bite and had myself a date, no, a meet
up. Even if you don’t believe in The
Rules, you know that being asked if you are attending a party that evening is
not a date. But I had meet CB earlier
and even with the two weeks of radio silence I was still over the moon 8th
grade excited that she texted unprovoked and wanted to see me. I spased out and texted my gay best friend’s pseudo
boyfriend and the first of my friends that I came out to. “OMFG!
CB just texted me about my plans for tonight!!!!!” Note the number of exclamation points and
abbreviation. While I remember meeting CB,
I only remember really liking her and having had enough drinks to make out with
another girl on the dance floor. Yet and
still I piece together my MarkBer’s Mark night and knew she was the one…to
break me into this world I feel I belong.
Feeling too old to arrive anywhere but bed at 11 I rallied
myself and went to this “where all the girls will be” location and waited and
again, had an awkward as fuck 30 minutes sipping on a drink and playing Words
With Friends. While outside smoking a
cigarette I remember that I don’t exactly remember what CB looks like and it’s
like Memento, I feign recognition to anyone that looks my way until CB appears
and I first notice that she does not look like the CB I remember. She joins me and we establish that I like
women, I want to be with women, but I have never been with a woman. I feel I have a strike against me. Then we establish her use of the phrase “Experimental
Phase” it does not mean that “I too think I like girls, but am only visiting” she meant – my 6 year relationship was
with woman and now I’m having single
lesbian fun. We chat and head in; she
directs us upstairs and buys me a drink because apparently it’s still my
birthday. I get what she’s getting and
for fucksake he gets cider. I suggest
whiskey and beer and that’s a no. Half way
through our sweet as hell cider, after awkward first date questions (she has 2
cats – I’m allergic to cats, but for the right person, I’ll get those shots)
she asks me who at the club/bar I find attractive. RECORD SCRATCH
“Ummm besides you?” While
she is not what I remembered, I was still attracted to her and she had already
established that she was not looking to get into anything serious. So at this point, I know where I stand. Her home is inhabited by beings that while
cute will kill me by inhibiting my breathing.
She is not looking for anything serious – I’m not either, but when this
is made clear, you are then relegated to only being a hook up, but when you are
questioned as to who in the room you would hook up with, it is clear that they
want your sexual interest is being redirected.
That’s fine, but then it sets the clock from, “When do I make my move”
to “When can I politely leave?” And if
that wasn’t enough, she started texting for back up or friends to come join
us.
We make not so small talk, her coworker comes, I’ve chatted
up other people and then the unnecessary nail in the coffin…her friend with
whom she’s crashing with shows up and they greet each other with a kiss. Half on half off the lips. So either she was establishing who she was going
to be intimate with or her friend was exercising a benefit of lip to lip
kissing.
At this point I’m passed ready to go and sad I did not keep
my original plans (it was by myself so I didn’t flake on anyone) to go
elsewhere to find someone that was willing able and ready to at least make out
if not give me the lady fingers.
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